Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
