At least make sure they are 18
Why
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize