Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize