You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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