you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize