i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
