we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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