Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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