Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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