Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
