Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
