dude i'm inner monologue high
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
