I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
