She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
