I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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