we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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