I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
4 words: hood of his car
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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