Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
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