I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
