All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
