i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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