After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
