absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
