So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
