I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
