I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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