It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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