I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
