I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
