I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
