At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
