I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
