ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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