Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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