after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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