More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
you had me at cake vodka
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize