How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
