Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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