It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
