Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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