You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
