i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
