roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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