Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
