i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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