I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
