he wants to bone in the snuggie
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
