I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
