is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
