so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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