The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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