i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize