Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
