I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
