His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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