dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
