she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
