Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just puked most of my soul out..
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