HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize