Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
