Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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