sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
