Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
