i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Too much gin, very little bucket
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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