You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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