ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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