I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
