I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
