Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
