You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
