i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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