Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The uberlube is also flammable
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
