Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so let's talk penis.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
