I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
