Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Randomize
